Thursday, April 9, 2009

Boys Will Be Boys

My younger brother's two oldest children are boys. Years back, they had a dog who wouldn't stop barking. An electronic dog collar was purchased to try and put an end to the non-stop barking. This collar was designed to give the dog an electric shock every time he barked.
The oldest boy decided to test the collar on himself. He put the batteries in the collar, placed the collar to his throat and barked. He was "shocked" at the severity of the electrical shock. The younger brother did not think the shock could possibly be that strong, so he took the collar, put it to his throat and barked. Needless to say, he put a little bit more trust into his brother's judgement.
The point of this story is to tell you that most guys do things without thinking them through. If a group of guys are hanging out and someone brings out a knife and says," Boy, is this knife sharp.", at least one other guy will test it. If someone touches a stove and says,"Boy, is that hot.", at least one guy will want to judge for himself. If someone says,"What is that terrible smell?", at least one guy will voluntarily take a good whiff.
I, myself, have done all the above. The one thing I don't do anymore is purposely smell a fart. When someone says,"Who farted?", most people immediately sniff the air and agree that someone farted and yes it does smell terrible. The gas molecules that literally seconds before were in someone's anus, laying on top of someone's feces, are now voluntarily drawn up someone's nose. Think about this the next time you smell a fart.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

King Kong

The Egyptians built the pyramid, the Chinese built the Great Wall, but the natives of Skull Island built a fence designed to keep large prehistoric beasts out of their living space.
This stone age tribe managed to cut down fifty foot long and two foot diameter trees, clear off all the branches, stand them up and lash them together to build their fence. The fence not only had to stand on its own, but also withstand the force of an angry Tyrannosaurus Rex. They accomplished this amazing feat with only stone axes and brute force. On the reality show, "The Ax Men", the workers complain about how hard they are working while using chain-saws, tracked machines with all kinds of attachments and a sky cable to haul the logs to the top of the mountain. Can you imagine building a fifty foot high fence with nothing but stone axes and the strength of your back. How many natives died or were injured in the construction process? How many natives died or were injured by the wild beasts prior to completion of the fence?
The engineering involved in building the fence pales in comparison to the engineering involved in making the fifty foot high gate. Not only did the gate have extra strong hinges to support its tremendous weight, but it also had to have a very strong and heavy log to use as a dead bolt. This dead bolt had to be handled by at least twenty five natives. Another fifty natives were required to swing the gate open. This gate was designed for the purpose of allowing the natives to go out and tie their victim to the sacrificial altar. My question is WHY? If this gate and fence were constructed for the purpose of keeping King Kong out, then why couldn't they just have cut a little six foot high opening in the fence? Never mind the fact that King Kong could climb to the top of the Empire State Building but couldn't scale the fifty foot high fence.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Is This Compassion or Guilt?

A photograph is a just a frozen moment in time.  If anyone looks at this particular photograph, assumptions are made.  First, this is probably a picture of these brothers standing in their backyard.  Second, the photographer is probably the mother or father.  Third, the tallest is the oldest, the second tallest is the middle boy and the shortest is the youngest.
If you look closely at the photo you see the oldest boy standing there with half a smile and half a grin.  The middle boy is standing there looking at the youngest boy with either a sad look or a caring look.  And the youngest boy is walking away from the other two crying.
Now one might wonder why the youngest is crying and the oldest boy's face shows nothing.  The youngest could be crying for any number of reasons.  He could have been stung by a bee, he could have pricked his finger on a rose, he could have been told to stand still for the photo and just got upset and began to cry.
I find it interesting that as upset as he seems to be, he is not looking to this brother for a quantum of solace.  Nor is he walking toward the photographer who like I said is probably the mother or father.
He might be walking towards the other parent who might be present in the backyard or he just wants to get away from the situation. 
If one of the brothers had made him cry, he probably would be looking back at that father.
If one of the brothers had made him cry and was feeling guilty, that brother probably would have been looking towards the parent, trying to tell them he didn't do it.  What i see in the photo is the oldest brother smiling for the camera, the middle brother wondering why the little one is crying and the youngest brother crying because he was a big cry baby.